Holidays and yearly rhythm

How To Do The Holidays is something many of us have to figure out each year.  For families who live near a large extended family, it might be a no brainer - have big family parties!  I suppose the down side of that is that it's hard to do something different, even if you want to.  

But for military families and other families who are mostly holed up within their nuclear families - for better or worse - we have some planning to do.  I have chosen not to center our traditions around having extended family with us since that could so easily lead to disappointment when traveling isn't practical.  In fact, Ryan will miss all the holidays this year so he isn't even a crucial part.  Besides, our extended family is small, consisting of exactly 5 people, and it would be unlikely that we could see all of them at once.  My kids don't have cousins.  I think that is one reason I want to have a lot of children - so my kids will always have each other.  

So many people have really good or really bad memories of The Holidays.  Bad memories are hard to erase, so I've made it my goal to protect my children's experiences of The Holidays.

So what are our traditions?  I'm sharing some of the old ones and some new ideas this year because I am really happy with them.  

Halloween

We don't trick or treat.  Every year since Gabe was born, I have looked for other people who don't trick or treat.  This year we found some!  We had a great pot-luck style Halloween party.  Other things I make a point to do in October are pumpkin patches, pumpkin carving, and hayrides.

Martinmas

We celebrated Martinmas, Nov. 11, for the first time this year.  It's a holiday typically celebrated in Waldorf education.  We are celebrating the need to make our own light (literally) as the days get shorter and (figuratively) bringing light into our dark world.  I told the story of St Martin (google St Martin + Waldorf to get the idea) and we made lanterns out of mason jars, tissue paper, paint, and ribbon for our lantern walk.  For a 2 year old and a 4 year old, walking around the house and yard after dark singing This Little Light of Mine with lanterns in hand is great fun.  

Thanksgiving

We had a potluck with friends yesterday, kind of for Thanksgiving.  I'm really thankful to have such a wonderful community of friends here.  Everyday in November, I post something I am thankful for on Facebook.  My focus for Thanksgiving is to help my kids become aware that there are people who don't have all their material needs met, and since we have more than enough, we can help.  As a side note, I love that they often watch me help mamas and babies in need of breastfeeding help.  That is something they understand!  It is very important to me to nurture feelings of gratitude in my kids and help them develop a sense of duty to help others.  We are sponsoring a Sudanese refugee family for Christmas (google Lost Boys Norfolk) so we will wrap their presents as a little Thanksgiving craft.  It is our routine to start the day with songs and a story, so I will find a Thanksgiving themed story to tell, probably by googling "Thanksgiving Waldorf story."  We will eat turkey and traditional Thanksgiving food, but not too much, since it will be just us and one Grandma, unless I come across anyone else between now and then who would like to join us.

Day after Thanksgiving/Advent

It's our tradition to get our tree and put it up the day after Thanksgiving.  We'll make an Advent wreath this year, too.  I didn't even know what Advent was until last year!  I wasn't raised with holiday traditions or rhythm of any kind so I probably have to think about it more than most.  Since we are becoming Catholic, I'll be teaching my kids about the Christian meaning of Christmas for the first time.  I feel so strongly that it is my job to protect them that I did not allow them to be exposed to religion until I chose a faith for us.  Unfortunately, I know how destructive religion can be when used as a means to control and judge, so that is probably up there with the #1 things that I protect them from.  One reason it was important to me to choose a religion/faith (same thing in my mind but I know the words matter greatly to some people) was to protect them from religions that I do not want them anywhere near.  So thank you, Catholic friends, for your help with this. =)

St Nicholas Day Dec 6

This is another Waldorf add-in this year.  I don't know exactly what we will do yet, but this is my starting point: http://www.stnicholascenter.org/pages/waldorf-1/

Christmas

I make a point to go see a Christmas lights display in December, and now that the kids are a little older, I may add in some more seasonal activities.  We will do a party with friends.  I always work on a family photo album all year and make copies for the grandparents.  I make each of the kids a book about themselves.  We do not "do" Santa, but I try and get books about Santa so that the kids are not too confused when they are asked 45 times "Is Santa coming soon?!" by strangers in the grocery store.  I can't stand commercial Christmas - the idea that "doing Christmas" equals opening presents - almost hate it.  It sort of goes against everything I said I want for my kids under the Thanksgiving heading.  As of this year, I am starting a Christmas day scavenger hunt.  I bought them a wooden Noah's Ark set so they will get to find all the pieces, after I tell them a story about Noah's Ark (eh, my own version).  We make chocolate pancakes on Christmas morning - that is a hit.  This year, I'll tell them Christmas is Jesus' birthday.  We always have chocolate on birthdays so it fits right in!  Cinnamon rolls are another Christmas day treat.  Somewhere right around Christmas we will probably make the Daddy is Coming Home Countdown Calendar.    

For me, holidays are not hectic or stressful or full of consumerism.  Holidays are an opportunity to learn stories, real or made up, that reflect our values and that are in common with other people.  We learn the stories by hearing them, reading them, doing crafts and other activities related to them.  The fall and winter holidays really create a rhythm to the year, and over time that rhythm is internalized and becomes part of our family culture.    

It feels good to have a yearly rhythm and holiday traditions that I'm happy with, and I kind of think that's my job as the woman of the house.